When we are faced with adversity, we can let it ruin us, or we can sit with it, sail the stormy rivers, and look forward to dry land.. it is true that an entire sea of water can only drown a ship if that ship lets the water in. There is no denying it, this pandemic is tough, Covid19 is doing all that it can to ensure that you produce Cortisol, the stress hormone, instead of Oxytocin, the hormone that promotes feelings of love, wellbeing, and contentment.
Do not underestimate the power of the serenity prayer, and the power of your own ability to look beyond C19. Of course there is fear, and we all want to be here to look back at C19, but outside of taking precautions, whether or not we fall victim to C19 is pretty much out of our control, at least until the vaccine comes in, so what can we do? of course, we can hope for health, but then we need to look at our other fears, fear of financial hardship, fear of loss of work or home, vehicle, status or life’s little luxuries. This is where I am very lucky. I have lost everything, at least in the material sense, my home, my car, my personal belongings that had any value as I sold them bit by bit for food when the payday loans ran out.. it is tough, but, it will not destroy you, it is short-term pain. I know it’s a cliche, but the best things in life really are free. Nature, love, we can talk on the phone, we can indulge in tv and social media to interact. We can PLAN. You can also talk to companies about debts, normally you can freeze interest and make nominal payments until you get back on your feet, and you can ask people not to call you if you are vulnerable to breaking down with the pressure. Just trust others to be human if you give them the chance.
I was living in terrible conditions, I could not afford a fridge or a cooker, any kind of TV ariel or internet, a car, or food with nutrition, but I walked to the library, I walked in the woods, I boiled eggs and potatoes in the steamer and I planned, I planned my life, my business, my work, I studied, I accepted what I could not change in that moment in time, and I looked forward to all of the things I could. I was sad that I could not go to the festival, but I put in on the calendar for two years later, I knew that I would go, I just had to know that this wasn’t the year that I would go. I couldn’t visit family, to embarrassed to declare fuel poverty and too proud to ask for a visit. My point, don’t get stuck in this moment. It can be very painful, and many things will change, but you have a life beyond Covid, you have a future, whatever that looks like, and if you can live it with gratitude and peace, you will be happy, even if you are not rich, in the financial sense. The only thing we need to do is get thru it, be patient, trust our medical professionals to come up with a vaccine, trust that next Christmas will be beautiful, shared with those we love, and that next Halloween we will have parties and next summer we will hug everybody we love, more grateful for BBQ’s, weddings and picnics in the park! We have SO much to look forward to. Please don’t get lost in the moment. Please don’t let the Cortisol win.
Your body [I read] cannot produce Cortisol and Oxytocin at the same time, so you can force it either way – we are what we eat they say! With every bite of mushrooms, peppers, tomatoes, spinach and avocado you are protecting your body and your mind from a deep depression – trust me – I’m the lab rat!
I have been blogging for four years now, to try and help those of you who still have a really hard time with life and its challenges. I published Finding Happiness and Freeing Your Spirit in 2016 and I am in the process of having this converted to an audio book (thanks to https://nartanrosevoiceover.com/#audio_pro)
– you can listen to the clip here..
I am also a Confidante, and offer one to one appointments via Zoom – you can book an hour with me HERE, just to talk.
Also, in March 2021 I am co-organising Find Your Power – an event that WILL go ahead, even if C19 debilitates it short-term, we will move it if we have to, but it WILL go ahead, we WILL laugh, we will hug, we will love and produce Oxytocin so that C19 can not survive he airwaves. Click the image below to visit the website.
You are all very powerful today – you can spread love, or you can spread fear. We are what we eat, only give your brain the good stuff, the long-term vision, so that it can keep the short-term in perspective.
Sharing with love as always
Our new Prime Minister Liz Truss, her knowledge of the Single Mums Business Network, aka SMBN, and our renewed hope for access to childcare, homes, financial independence and dignity.
With every change comes renewed hope, renewed hope for action, change, and a better future for us all, and whatever your political views, this is todays’ reality, and this is where less drama, and more productive focus is needed.
I was pretty furious after the Chancellor’s Spring Statement last month, and it turns out I am not alone! I had a little rant, embedded below, but little did I realise how much news coverage this statement, and our leaders complete disconnection to what it is to survive in the real world of income v … Continue reading The Chancellor, The Cost of Living Crisis, Benefits and Bias..
Who are you really angry with? It shouldn’t have to happen to you for it to matter to you. #RefugeeWeek
I have been around long enough to hear the negative dillect around refugees and asylum seekers, but I have also been around long enough to understand that we are all one; we have so much greed, so much luxury, so much indulgence, and so much suffering. And so for Refugee Week I ask you to ask yourself, who are really angry with?
We live in a Country, where you should feel safe to walk the street at night, where you should not be vulnerable because of your age, sex, race, sexuality or religion, we live in a Country where our basic needs should be not be a lifetime of struggle to achieve, and we live in a Country where I hear all too often, that men do not know where they stand…
Finding Happiness and Freeing Your Spirit now available on ACX audible and Findaway Voices! Thanks to Nartan Rose, Audiobook Producer and Narrator..
When I met Nartan during a recent Thrive huddle with Clare Griffiths, I thought – what a great idea, turning my book into an audio book! I’m actually not a strong reader at all. Completing my law degree felt like reading Japanese upside down and the words on the pages would just float around leaving … Continue reading Finding Happiness and Freeing Your Spirit now available on ACX audible and Findaway Voices! Thanks to Nartan Rose, Audiobook Producer and Narrator..
Why I am so proud that this event [Find Your Power] is accessible, and how asking for £6 instead of £60 can change a life..
There is no doubt, this event is worth the £60 price tag. Not only do delegates get access to 5 incredible speakers sharing years of combined experience and wisdom, they can choose to attend a number of workshops, from Yoga to Tantra and Bellydance, and they get to speak to a selection of handpicked incredible exhibitors, who are attending to provide a safe space for delegates to talk to them 1-1 throughout the day to learn more about the services they provide and how they can help them. Not only that, parking is free, and three rounds of coffee, tea, snacks, and buffet lunch are included! It is a deluxe day, designed not for profit, to simply serve love and light.
It has been four years since I started sharing my mind with you all, and I thank you for following with interest. The book that inspired this blog, is currently being narrated as an audio book, and, I am now offering to work with clients on a one to one basis as a confidante. So here is my updated introduction, and I look forward to speaking with you, if you would like a safe space to share your private matters in confidence. Jules x
On Thursday Joe and I will be holding a webinar to discuss some matters close to our hearts. We have called it ‘Thriving despite obstacles’ although I confess I wanted to call it ‘Don’t be an a**hole’. Joe is clearly a good influence on me!
We will discuss:
Black Lives Matter and George Floyd – the emotions that surface and what needs to change
Single Parents – taking positive action and why it matters (bigger issues)
Humanity – and how lack of is the core of where we need to focus our attention and education – TV Entertainment
Abuse – walking in fear, healing and education
Homophobia – lack of humanity, walking in fear, healing and education
Exclusion groups and safe space amongst peers
Webinar: Single Mums in Business and Flexible Working. Thank you to the British Library for Facilitating
Thank you to those of you who joined us today, and this is for those of you who requested a recording. We could have talked for hours, I will arrange another webinar or workshop soon. Jules x http://www.singlemumsbusinessnetwork.com
I was in a meeting with CEO’s of large companies – all male, and some of them expressed that, being torn away from the comradeship, banter, functioning and routine of the workplace was a real challenge for them.
‘Flexible Working isn’t an option.’ That’s what my employer confirmed during my maternity. I had to choose, my career or my daughter? I chose my daughter, and paid the price.
When I say I paid the price I want to be clear from the off, I do not and never have regretted choosing my daughter. Every cuddle, every tear, every moment. The priceless gift of looking after another life… but why do you have to pay the price financially when it would be so easy … Continue reading ‘Flexible Working isn’t an option.’ That’s what my employer confirmed during my maternity. I had to choose, my career or my daughter? I chose my daughter, and paid the price.
Those of you who follow my blog will know that they creep up on me and it’s normally a couple of months before I have enough clarity to post. This one is no different, however, I have forced myself to push this out for International Men’s Day, and so there may be additions later. I … Continue reading Women Supporting Women and Female Empowerment. What about the men?
We have a lot of high profile talk at the moment about the #housingcrisis and a lot of amazing people trying to solve the issue of high private rents – encouraging the building of more affordable homes to enable people to work, and enjoy a decent standard of living, without being cripled by rising living … Continue reading Mortgages and Housing Crisis
It was 2016. I was just in the process of completing my law degree but I wasn’t feeling well. A visit to the Dr resulted in a string of tests that identified that my body wasn’t producing enough platelets. What we had to figure out was why? Weeks felt like months as the Dr was … Continue reading Health scare inspired me to fight for work life in sync with school
Once upon a time I cared, a lot, about being judged, about being disapproved of, about being ‘beneath’ other people, and I was a people pleaser, much to my own detriment. I was so afraid of confrontation that rather than express my concerns I would run, and hide. I never wanted to be seen as … Continue reading The Power of ‘Not Minding’
Why are half of the UK living in relative poverty? Why have wages not increased with inflation? Why are employers putting profits before people. Why are Parliament putting Property before People? Why do employers wait for leadership and profit at the expense of their employees. Why, why, why.
Supporting Single Mums Fighting for Family and Financial Freedom
Encouraging confidence with advising availability. Ultimately looking to assist wellbeing and encourage modern thinking
With connection comes greater understanding and raised awareness of how we can help to build a better society, it is not a selfless act, building a happier society where people are not living in desperate situations rubs off on everybody, including the people you love. It just needs a few leaders, a few game-changers, a few people in power with the ability to make small life altering changes to what is perceived to be normal.
There are several affirmations that people are not ignoring you – they are busy and that you should get busy too, and whilst they mean well, and come from a place of some truth, it was one of the most offensive ways of trying to help people who are feeling ignored, lonely, and that their friends and family are failing them. There is a truth to people being busy, but I would prefer to use the term ‘distracted’…
‘It doesn’t pay to work’. This is something I have heard for many years and the words have caused me great discomfort. It is often perceived that living on benefits is a comfy lifestyle option, and with great analysis I have reached my own conclusion, which of course I am sharing as we all know … Continue reading Working for Poverty & Self-Employment
SAD Seasonal Affective Disorder – Stop the train
This Blog talks about discrimination towards tenants in receipt of housing benefit or with pets.
Challenging Mainstream Theories on Depression
My journey began when I still a child and tests indicated that I was ‘inadequate’ from a very early age. Consequently I continued mostly unstimulated through school with the clear message that I should not expect to achieve anything outstanding. Knowing that I was not one of the intelligent ones gave me little drive to … Continue reading My Formal Graduation – Summarising the Journey
Now I have had a rant about 9-5 and about Law and the Curriculum, now let’s rant about…
What kind of country do we live in where it is standard and accepted to fine people for living in poverty!?
Well I’ve been on my soapbox about the 9-5 culture that we have here in the U.K and now I would like to air my grievance on something else I feel passionate about which is Law and the National curriculum. I was educated, and I use that word loosely, in a comprehensive school in England … Continue reading Law and the National curriculum
Frankly 9-5 monday to friday does not work… of course it works in the logistical sense of having your entire workforce arrive at the same time, working the same hours for ease of meetings and customer contact but it was designed – by man – in very different times. Guess what, we have technology, we … Continue reading Let’s start with 9-5… or should I say man-made manslaughter!